ALL I WANT FOR MOTHER’S DAY…
Growing up, my family didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day. As the day approached and the corporate messaging grew louder, my mother would begin to set the ground rules. There would be no celebrations at our home, no special meals, no flowers and no real acknowledgement of the day. She would explain that Mother’s Day really didn’t amount to much. It was simply another way to get us to spend money and spew banalities that meant nothing. And for good measure, she would add, “If you can’t think of me with honor and respect the other 364 days, don’t bother with this one day”. Se we honored our mother by not honoring her on Mother’s Day.
When I became a mother, I rebelled against her practice. I wanted all the trappings of motherhood, including the annual festivity. As my children grew up, I enjoyed some of the benefits of this Hallmark day. I sought and received the special breakfast, with all the attendant flowers and cards and hugs and kisses. When the children left to start their own lives, I continued to use the day to receive some gifts to feed my gardening hobby. So the meals and cards turned into garden tools, shrubs and perennials. This has been fine way to celebrate…right up to this year.
As Mother’s Day of 2020 rolled around, I, like so many of the mothers in this country, celebrated by staying at home, sheltering in place, and hoping to avoid catching a virus or to not spread it. Having spent the day hunkered down, I realized that my mother was, and continues to be, absolutely right about this day. The commercial entities send a message to love and honor our mothers, but the reality of our political choices make a mockery of this message.
The political choices being made today are costing us more than we realize. I cringe when I hear that this federal administration has abdicated its responsibilities to guide and protect us with all that it is able to do. So while we wait for the tests to happen, Trump tells governors they have to be the ones to find their own supplies, and we have to hope that our governors are up to the tasks. As a comedy sketch, this might be okay. Living it, day-to-day, is a horror show. And while the nation is fixated on how we will get through the pandemic, Trump’s administration is doing more damage to all of us; but especially to the mothers and fathers who anxiously wait for some good news. Here are just a few of the ruinous impacts on mothers:
· Trump’s administration has brazenly scaled back paid sick leave in the first coronavirus relief bill
· As more mothers are unemployed and turn to government assistance for food security, Trump and his well-fed cronies throw more families off of food stamps.
· Women form the majority of the “essential front line workers”; from grocery stores, to food processing plants, to the health care worker. But for the Trump administration, raising the minimum wage will hurt the billionaire, so he’s against it.
· For Trump and his conservative base, health care for women is all about reproductive rights. So his administration continues to defund women’s health care clinics; impose harsh restrictions on service and reduce the ability of women to get support through the Affordable Care Act.
If we are serious about really supporting and loving our mothers, we need to align our corporate message with the social and political realities. How do we do this? We need to vote in the political representation based on what we want our society to actually be.
If we want affordable and quality child care, then our state and federal governments need to make that a financial priority and pay the staff of these centers a living wage.
If we want our mothers to be able to care for ailing children and other family members without fear of losing their jobs, we need to require paid family leave and sick time benefits. Even when we are not facing a pandemic, workers who are ill go into work and share their germs, because they can’t afford to take the unpaid day off. As a result, the people around them get sick as well.
If we want our mothers to have healthier families, we need to support programs that provide health care, regardless of income, food and housing security.
If we want to be better protected against the next virulent disease, we need a public health structure that recognizes the dangers and gets ahead of the disease before it decimates the society as whole. We need to support on-going research in disease prevention and vaccine development.
Knowing what I want has made it easier for me to find just the right gift for Mother’s Day. I want a government that is competent, ethical and effective.
I want a government that makes decisions based on the best available data and science.
I want a government that doesn’t allow cronyism to influence the decisions it makes.
I want a government that sees the needs of everyone, regardless of the state they live in, and makes decisions in the best interests of our country. Geographic lines on a map shouldn’t make a difference if we are really all in this together, and united as one country.
And I want more women in legislative offices. Because when women are legislating, they know what the real needs of women and families are. And their policies and positions reflect their experiences.
My present to my mother for this day that celebrates mothers is to support her efforts to get more women in office and more people registered to vote. For years, my mother volunteered for the League of Women Voters, working tirelessly to register people and urge them vote; educating them about the essential requirements for continuing and improving our democracy. Each person’s vote is their voice and it needs to be heard.
Democracy, which comes from the Greek, means that the people rule. Ruling is hard work. To make this happen, it requires that each of us educate ourselves about the issues we care about, think about the possible solutions, register to vote and find the representative to help us deliver on a better society for all of us. Only then will we get the government we want.
So yes, I celebrated Mother’s Day this year.
And like my mother, I don’t want this day to be a meaningless day that lacks the respect and honor mothers deserve. I want it to be the call to action that the founders’ of this day originally envisioned.
Keep the flowers, the meals and the gifts. Do share the kisses and hugs.
The best gift we can give our mothers is a society that really works to address their actual needs, both individually and collectively. Mothers need wages that allow them to live in dignity; affordable, quality child care; health care that allows them to care for their entire body, including reproduction; clean air and water; food and housing security; education for all.
Now it’s your turn to pass on the best gift you can give to your mom and all the other moms. Educate yourself as to who will be the best voice for you in government — at the local level, the state level, and the federal level. Then make sure you’re registered to vote: AND THEN VOTE!
